You Don't Get Stupid "Out of Your System" By Being Stupid

Pretend there are two young men. Both want to grow up to become faithful husbands, dedicated fathers, and all around responsible adults.

However, they both decide to take very different paths to get there.

The first, lets call him Guyone, knowing that he wants to be a faithful husband when he is older and married, works on being faithful while he is single. He works hard to keep his mind and body in check and avoid any sexual sin outside of marriage. He also knows that he wants to be a great father one day, and that will require a great deal of selflessness. So, he tries to live his life in a way that serves others rather than takes from others. His logic leads him to the conclusion that being selfless now will help him be selfless later.

Then we have the second guy. Lets call him Guytwo. He knows he wants to be a faithful husband when he grows up, so he sleeps with as many women as possible while he is "still young". He figures if he can "spread his wild oats now", he won't want to anymore once he is married. He also knows that having kids will force him to be less selfish, so while he is "still young", he works hard to be as selfish as possible. He spends most of his money on partying, drinking, and anything else that serves his current needs. In his mind, if he can do all the fun, selfish things he wants to do now, he won't want to anymore once he has kids.

Now. If you had to guess. Which of these two people do you think will grow up to achieve his goal of becoming a faithful husband, dedicated father, and responsible adult?

The answer is simple! We would all pick Guyone to grow up and achieve his goals.

So why are there still so many people who act like Guytwo is the genius who has it all figured out?

Before I got married, people would tell me all the time to "enjoy being free" while I am still single, or to "wait as long as you can to get married, so you can have fun". Then I got married and the advice went from "delay marriage" to "delay kids". People would say "wait as long as you can to have kids, because once you do, your life is all about them". In other words I can "still be selfish before I have kids".

Don't hear me wrong on this. I am a huge proponent of enjoying each stage of life and embracing the advantages each phase brings, but I do not support delaying responsibility so that we can be selfish.

The reality is, people who practice selfishness and stupidity while they are "young" (the definition of that word seems to be ever changing in our society) usually continue in selfishness and stupidity when they are older. And it makes perfect sense. People don't just wake up one day and decide they want to be an immature, selfish person. They spend years of their life practicing. Then, when they want to settle down and be an adult, they realize it's not all that easy to kick the habits of a self absorbed stupid person.

The lesson here is simple. If you want to be a certain kind of person when you grow up, practice being that kind of person now! I personally, want to be a great father and a great leader one day, so the best thing I can do now is practice doing the things that great fathers and great leaders do today. For me, that means I need to practice being a servant more than anything, because I believe that service is the mark of any great father or leader.

Whatever it is you want to be, find out what that kind of person does and start doing it now. Don't wait till you get there.