It's Okay To Be Scared About Having Kids

I might be the oddest person ever. There might be a small part of me that is nervous about having a kid. But for the most part, I am just excited. I know my life will change drastically and diapers will become my new worst enemy, but I just don't care that much. I know that my love for that kid will easily outweigh all of the sleepless nights and other challenges that come with parenting.

[Any parents, reading this right now, probably think that's hilarious and I am delusional. That's okay. You are probably right. But that is how I feel about it right now. Reality or not...]

It probably has a lot to do with my upbringing. My parents didn't wait any time at all after they got married to have kids. My dad didn't even have a job yet and they were living off his small amount of savings when my mom got pregnant with my older sister. Then two years later, I came along, then another two years later, my first brother came along. And this pattern kept on going for about sixteen years until my youngest brother (number eight) was born.

Being the second of eight children, I grew up changing diapers and playing with babies all the time! Because of this, babies just don't scare me. However, some people do not have the same life experience that I had. Some people are terrified of having kids! I know this, because I am married to someone like this.

It's not that she doesn't like kids or want them eventually, the idea is just more scary for her than it is for me. Which could have a little bit to do with the small fact that she has to birth them... But aside from that, the idea of taking care of them after they are born is more scary to her.

We were having a discussion about this recently, and she said she feels like most of the people who have babies are excited about it and she is the only one who is scared. A lot of this stems from the fact that so many people around us right now are having kids and most of them seem pretty nonchalant about it. Then you have the weirdos like me, who are overjoyed about it. And friends and family who seem more excited about it than she does. All these things combined can make her feel like there is something wrong with her because she is freaking out inside and she feels like the only one.

This conversation went on and I convinced her that she is not the only one who is scared about having kids - and it got me thinking. There is no way that my wife is the only person that feels this way. I think most people are probably scared when they are having their first kid. This would explain the astronomic number of abortions that take place in America every year (about 1 million/year).

Just because some people don't get scared about having kids doesn't mean the feeling is not normal. Even people like me have some fears, we just suppress them because we love babies so much. In fact the people who are freaking out may in fact be more normal (not that being normal is the goal).

The point is, it's ok to be scared about having kids. And that fear is most likely coming from a good place. A place of understanding the massive responsibility that you are about to have as a parent. Being a parent is a big deal. Maybe one of the biggest deals. So it should be scary.

So if you are scared about having kids or if you know someone who is, let them know that they are not the only person who feels that way and it is ok to be scared. It means you care. And that can never be a bad thing.