Why You Shouldn't Just Look Up To "Successful" People
After I placed 5th at the DIII national tournament my senior year of college, achieving All-American status, there was a period of time where friends on my wrestling team would introduce me to people as "Matt Cross All-American". I'd be lying if I told you that my tiny little ego didn't enjoy this a little bit. It was a pretty cool thing. Not many people are fortunate enough to have that kind of success in a sport. I was a part of a very select group of college athletes in the country.
Ever since then, a lot younger wrestlers who are striving to achieve that same goal look up to me because I am an "All-American".
What most of them don't realize is there are a lot of things that had to go right in order for me to achieve what I did.
Here is just one example:
During the "All-American" round (winner is an All-American, loser goes home), I was up against a super tough wrestler from Wisconsin Oshkosh. I had wrestled this guy two times earlier in the season, going 1-1 with him. If I had to pick, he is not the guy I would have wanted to wrestle to become an All-American.
In the first period of the match, we got into a flurry and I ended up on top to get a 2 point takedown. He quickly escaped, which put me up by a score of 2-1. The rest of the match was pretty boring. We both got one escape to make the score 3-2 me. Except for the early takedown in the first period, neither of us could get close to scoring a takedown. He hadn't even gotten to my legs once if I remember correctly.
Then, late in the third period with about ten seconds left, he got in deep on a high crotch. He quickly lifted me up in the air. All he had to do was put me on the mat and there was a good chance he would score a takedown to win the match. At this point, I went into survival mode, and I did the only thing I could in that situation. I dove for his leg as he brought me down to the mat and hung on for dear life.
I was extremely close to getting taken down. There are some refs that probably would have called it a takedown for him. But, fortunately (for me I suppose), the ref did not call it a takedown and I was able to hold on and win the match to become an All-American.
If I had a different referee that day or if the one I had felt like calling that last part of the match differently I could have very easily not been an All-American.
I could have done everything the same. Trained the same. Ate the same. Slept the same. Warmed up the same. Everything. But if that one tiny thing outside of my control didn't go my way, I would have went home after that match.
Would that have made me a worse wrestler???
Of course not! Any sane person can understand that. Yet, people would still think of me differently if I lost that match.
The truth is, holding on to win that match and becoming an All-American did not make me a better wrestler. That would be like saying LeBron James magically became good at basketball when he won his first title. That's insane! He was great long before he ever sniffed a title.
The vast majority of people we see who have achieve great success were good at what they do long before we knew who they were. Our society just has a tendency to get enamored with accolades. All we see is the glimmering success someone has, not the mountains of hard work, setbacks, and mistakes they have in their wake.
Due to our obsession with results we often miss out on learning from some of the most incredible people in the world who don't have all the accolades to "back it up".
Some of the best wrestlers I know never had a chance to become an All-American or a national champ. Whether it was because of injuries, having other great wrestlers in front of them, or some other factor outside of their control, these people weren't able to achieve the outcome they were striving for even though they were good enough to. I have learned tons from these people!
The next time you go to a wrestling clinic or a camp don't just listen to the instructor because of his name. Listen to him because of what you can actually learn from him!
The same applies for anyone who is not a wrestler. Don't just learn from people who have achieved great success. Some of the best mentors I have had in my life are not people who make a lot of money or have a flashy life. They are ordinary people who do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. These are the people we should be looking up to.
Ever since then, a lot younger wrestlers who are striving to achieve that same goal look up to me because I am an "All-American".
What most of them don't realize is there are a lot of things that had to go right in order for me to achieve what I did.
Here is just one example:
During the "All-American" round (winner is an All-American, loser goes home), I was up against a super tough wrestler from Wisconsin Oshkosh. I had wrestled this guy two times earlier in the season, going 1-1 with him. If I had to pick, he is not the guy I would have wanted to wrestle to become an All-American.
In the first period of the match, we got into a flurry and I ended up on top to get a 2 point takedown. He quickly escaped, which put me up by a score of 2-1. The rest of the match was pretty boring. We both got one escape to make the score 3-2 me. Except for the early takedown in the first period, neither of us could get close to scoring a takedown. He hadn't even gotten to my legs once if I remember correctly.
Then, late in the third period with about ten seconds left, he got in deep on a high crotch. He quickly lifted me up in the air. All he had to do was put me on the mat and there was a good chance he would score a takedown to win the match. At this point, I went into survival mode, and I did the only thing I could in that situation. I dove for his leg as he brought me down to the mat and hung on for dear life.
I was extremely close to getting taken down. There are some refs that probably would have called it a takedown for him. But, fortunately (for me I suppose), the ref did not call it a takedown and I was able to hold on and win the match to become an All-American.
If I had a different referee that day or if the one I had felt like calling that last part of the match differently I could have very easily not been an All-American.
I could have done everything the same. Trained the same. Ate the same. Slept the same. Warmed up the same. Everything. But if that one tiny thing outside of my control didn't go my way, I would have went home after that match.
Would that have made me a worse wrestler???
Of course not! Any sane person can understand that. Yet, people would still think of me differently if I lost that match.
The truth is, holding on to win that match and becoming an All-American did not make me a better wrestler. That would be like saying LeBron James magically became good at basketball when he won his first title. That's insane! He was great long before he ever sniffed a title.
The vast majority of people we see who have achieve great success were good at what they do long before we knew who they were. Our society just has a tendency to get enamored with accolades. All we see is the glimmering success someone has, not the mountains of hard work, setbacks, and mistakes they have in their wake.
Due to our obsession with results we often miss out on learning from some of the most incredible people in the world who don't have all the accolades to "back it up".
Some of the best wrestlers I know never had a chance to become an All-American or a national champ. Whether it was because of injuries, having other great wrestlers in front of them, or some other factor outside of their control, these people weren't able to achieve the outcome they were striving for even though they were good enough to. I have learned tons from these people!
The next time you go to a wrestling clinic or a camp don't just listen to the instructor because of his name. Listen to him because of what you can actually learn from him!
The same applies for anyone who is not a wrestler. Don't just learn from people who have achieved great success. Some of the best mentors I have had in my life are not people who make a lot of money or have a flashy life. They are ordinary people who do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. These are the people we should be looking up to.
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