Friends Complicate Everything and That's OK
Two years ago Rachel and I decided to move away from all of our friends and family in Pennsylvania and Maryland and go to Tiffin, Ohio. If you haven't heard of Tiffin, that's because you're normal, don't worry about it.
When we moved to Tiffin, we knew we would likely only be here for the two years of my Graduate Assistant contract, then we would have to pick up and move again. It's a weird thing, being somewhere and knowing that you most likely won't be there in two years. There is a temptation to close yourself off socially so that when you inevitably leave, it won't be as difficult. We could have done just that. We could have made a point to avoid getting involved in things and had a fine time just doing our own thing most of the time.
But, for some reason that is not what we did. As soon as we got to Ohio, we got plugged into a great church, started going to a Sunday school class, I joined some weird thing called "Fight Club", and Rachel started helping struggling teens at another local church. On top of that, I was coaching wrestling and becoming invested in the lives of over 45 young men.
Before we knew it we started to meet all kinds of amazing people, including one young couple from church that we really hit it off with. I first met Abe through Fight Club (can't talk about it), which led to us going over his and his wife Aubrie's house for a cookout/hangout. Ever since then we have been hanging out with Abe and Aubrie almost every weekend for the past two years. I even stopped watching football since we usually hang out on Sunday's and they don't have cable.
Our friendship with Abe and Aubrie has been different from any that we have had before. Partially because they are the first people that we have become close to as a married couple, but mostly because they are strangely the exact opposite of Rachel and I. In our marriage, I have always been the outgoing, weird one that takes about five seconds to get comfortable around people, where Rachel is more introverted and loves spending time by herself creating things. With Abe and Aubrie, it is the opposite. Aubrie is the crazy, outgoing one who take five seconds to get comfortable and Abe will go insane if he doesn't get time to be by himself and build things.
This opposite dynamic, along with the fact that Abe is one of my few "non-wrestler" friends has pulled Rachel and I in ways we normally wouldn't. For instance, Abe teaches me how to shut up and build stuff, while Aubrie teaches Rachel how to step out of her comfort zone and be a complete weirdo.
Aside from Abe and Aubrie we have become close with so many other people here in Ohio. And now that we are getting ready to move I can say with certainty that each person we have met here has made moving away more complicated. If we just had one or two people in Ohio that we really cared about, it wouldn't be that hard to stay in touch with them once we leave; but we have put ourselves in a position where it is truly going to be a challenge to stay in touch with everyone here.
We could have avoided all of this trouble by simply isolating ourselves and not getting too attached.
Thank God we didn't do that!
Each person that we have become close with has had a unique and profound impact on our lives. I could probably write a blog about every friend that we have made in Ohio, but I won't. My point is, God has been incredibly faithful in placing great people into our lives during this two year period, and all we had to do was put ourselves out there and not be afraid of getting hurt.
As humans we are designed for community with one another (especially community with other believers) and that community is not always pretty and it is often painful. However, we are always better off when we do not hold back in developing strong relationships with the people around us.
It will be extremely hard for us to leave the friends we have made here in Ohio, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
When we moved to Tiffin, we knew we would likely only be here for the two years of my Graduate Assistant contract, then we would have to pick up and move again. It's a weird thing, being somewhere and knowing that you most likely won't be there in two years. There is a temptation to close yourself off socially so that when you inevitably leave, it won't be as difficult. We could have done just that. We could have made a point to avoid getting involved in things and had a fine time just doing our own thing most of the time.
But, for some reason that is not what we did. As soon as we got to Ohio, we got plugged into a great church, started going to a Sunday school class, I joined some weird thing called "Fight Club", and Rachel started helping struggling teens at another local church. On top of that, I was coaching wrestling and becoming invested in the lives of over 45 young men.
Before we knew it we started to meet all kinds of amazing people, including one young couple from church that we really hit it off with. I first met Abe through Fight Club (can't talk about it), which led to us going over his and his wife Aubrie's house for a cookout/hangout. Ever since then we have been hanging out with Abe and Aubrie almost every weekend for the past two years. I even stopped watching football since we usually hang out on Sunday's and they don't have cable.
Our friendship with Abe and Aubrie has been different from any that we have had before. Partially because they are the first people that we have become close to as a married couple, but mostly because they are strangely the exact opposite of Rachel and I. In our marriage, I have always been the outgoing, weird one that takes about five seconds to get comfortable around people, where Rachel is more introverted and loves spending time by herself creating things. With Abe and Aubrie, it is the opposite. Aubrie is the crazy, outgoing one who take five seconds to get comfortable and Abe will go insane if he doesn't get time to be by himself and build things.
This opposite dynamic, along with the fact that Abe is one of my few "non-wrestler" friends has pulled Rachel and I in ways we normally wouldn't. For instance, Abe teaches me how to shut up and build stuff, while Aubrie teaches Rachel how to step out of her comfort zone and be a complete weirdo.
Aside from Abe and Aubrie we have become close with so many other people here in Ohio. And now that we are getting ready to move I can say with certainty that each person we have met here has made moving away more complicated. If we just had one or two people in Ohio that we really cared about, it wouldn't be that hard to stay in touch with them once we leave; but we have put ourselves in a position where it is truly going to be a challenge to stay in touch with everyone here.
We could have avoided all of this trouble by simply isolating ourselves and not getting too attached.
Thank God we didn't do that!
Each person that we have become close with has had a unique and profound impact on our lives. I could probably write a blog about every friend that we have made in Ohio, but I won't. My point is, God has been incredibly faithful in placing great people into our lives during this two year period, and all we had to do was put ourselves out there and not be afraid of getting hurt.
As humans we are designed for community with one another (especially community with other believers) and that community is not always pretty and it is often painful. However, we are always better off when we do not hold back in developing strong relationships with the people around us.
It will be extremely hard for us to leave the friends we have made here in Ohio, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
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